It’s no secret that being a parent comes with many challenges. Parenting can be overwhelming and exhausting at times. There are definitely days when I think to myself “What the heck did I get myself into?” With my kids the simplest tasks can become so hard and really stressful. Like who sits where or who gets which color bowl. Sometimes I would like to pull my hair out or better yet, run away!
When the dust settles and things are calm, for the moment, I think about how amazing it is to be a mom and how wonderful it is to raise two girls. I love the little cuddles we share or when we are silly together. I remind myself that there is nothing more I would rather be doing. Being a mom is my whole life and is what gives me my purpose. I know that failure is not an option because my girls are depending on me.
Being a parent is the most important thing we will ever do in our life. I mean think about it, we are molding little people that will one day have to go out into the world. Are children are the future and will one day need to be productive and contributing members of society. With all the bad in the world we have to be making some good with our kids. We want to instill all of the values and morals that we think are important. The only way to accomplish this is to be a more balanced parent.
In order to become a more balanced parent we must first understand the different types of parenting and the affects they can have on our kids. I believe that there really is no right way to parent, but there is definitely a wrong way. With everything in life it is all about balance. We all need to find our parenting balance in order to raise confident and well rounded kids. One way of parenting may work better for some kids than others. We have to find what works best for each kid to ensure that they have the best possible chance at success.
Permissive parenting or indulgent parenting is an unhealthy style of parenting. These types of parents are responsive but not firm. These parents tend to be lenient in order to avoid confrontation with their child. Little to no rules are set for the kids of a permissive parent. If there are rules they are often inconsistent. This lack of structure can cause these kids to grow up with no self-discipline or self-control. Permissive parents often believe that this style of parenting provides their child with a sense of freedom. The reality is that kids need a sense of structure to make them feel safe. It is important for a child’s development that there are clear parent and child roles.
Neglectful parenting or uninvolved parenting is one of the most harmful styles of parenting. It is characterized by a lack of responsiveness to their child’s needs. Neglectful parents make few to no demands of their kids and they are often uninterested, dismissive or even neglectful. This kind of parenting is damaging to a child because they have no trust or safety which can limit them from being able to explore the world. Kids who have an absent relationship with their parent will have a harder time forming relationships with other people especially other kids.
Authoritarian parenting or strict parenting are parents who are demanding and not responsive. These types of parents allow for little to no open communication with their child. The Kids are expected to follow a strict set of rules. These types of parents usually rely on punishment in order to create obedience in their kids. While structure and rules are necessary for healthy child development these rules can be overdone or extreme. The kids of authoritarian parents often have low self-esteem and may be fearful or shy in social situations. These kids may even misbehave or rebel when they are away from their parents.
The most effective and beneficial parenting style is authoritative parenting. This type of parenting sets high, but reasonable expectations and boundaries for their kids. Authoritative parents offer understanding and support for their kids when implementing these expectations. They offer an open communication with their kids without the fear of consequences. Being able to speak to our kids without judgment will give us more insight into their life and provide them with a deeper understanding of the world around them. Authoritative parenting creates a healthy environment and a productive relationship for both the parent and child.
As you can see there really is no one way to parent our kids. You may adopt parts of different parenting styles depending on each of your kids or certain situations. There are no perfect parents or clear cut answers on how to do things. All of us are kind of learning as we go. In the end it is important that we create a balanced structure with consequences, boundaries and open communication with our kids. Our kids must know which rules are important and why it is important for them to be followed.
To become a more balanced parent you have to create the balance within your self first. Any extreme behavior can be harmful to you. Extreme parenting is not a good idea for anyone. I would think that having a ton of rules and to enforce all of them would be exhausting or to have little to no rules would only create chaos in your home.
Good luck on finding your parenting balance! Comment below if you found this information helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts on how you find your parenting balance.